Thursday, March 27, 2008
It was as if she could actually see
her dreams crash down
falling behind her
tragic melodies sing
like shards of glass
falling against marble floors
playing spectrums of notes
carried on air waves
blown from her lips
when she finally remembered
she could still breathe
She whispered beneath her fight
searching for answers
another line of certainty
written in translucent inspiration
imagining randomness among
highly organized chaos
seemed settling somehow
the inevitable
pulsating like electric rhythmic voices
she began dancing in her own silent opera
she barely spoke,
considering it easier than the opposite
Filling her lungs with air
she began screaming
in colors that stretched like bright rainbows
across night skies
bursting from her throat
interrupted only by the shine of stars
Creating a shallow reality
sounds of her synapses snapping
crackling booms echoed
when she made the break
mimicking a lost princess
wandering
inside the safety
of a snow globe
walking in plastic scenic forests
painted to provide her shelter
Sometimes when she looks
I gaze beside her
hoping to find a sight
she can share with me
sometimes, she lets me in
moments when warmth
returns in rich hues
within her irises
momentarily, the increasing vacancy
disappears, pupils no longer dilated
I can see her again
in all of her truth
(C) CousinPublishing 2008
Posted by CousinSarah ::
4:55 PM ::
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Grateful Weds....
...for his quick rebound of the yellow day yesterday....he is doing so much better
...for "mooooo ahhhhhh ooooooom's" lol
...new books for us to read together this weekend
...that he comes here in a few days
...that summer months means he is with me during the weekdays!
...May 31st, STL here we come!
...my parents...thank you for all you do for me...I know you want the best...
...all my babies...i love each of you so much
...Sis...god I miss you. Often, all the time, lots.
...Brother...you always have the sound advice...lol thanks
...laughs...I have needed them...thank you
...my co's...Im blessed with the people I work with at my office...Got a big brother, lil brother and loving hippie Cindy who holds it together...lol...thanks for all you do
...Whose Line is it Anyway? I have felt cruddy all day....the laughing is a nice way to end it. Man they are brilliant.
...that I payed attention when she taught me to make queso...not as good...but I did pretty good the other day...
...a t-shirt I saw today that I am going to get for my dad (and maybe me too lol) it said "I have a vocabulary of over 75,000 words and I am not afraid to use it!" My Dad is ALWAYS using these huge wierd unknown words out of nowhere...and then he looks and says "What, you dont know what (Put word here) means? tease us for a bit before we have had to harass him for the answer. He plays a SERIOUSLY mean game of scrabble...its pointless to play him...it is ALWAYS a sound butt whoopin'
...good breezes
...when I can focus enough on the tv guide part of the screen when the mindless stuff above it seems to suck me in like a funnel...
...I can sit in a for real huge bath tub when I go visit my sister...I LOVE a big tub
...the creators and all they do...
Posted by CousinSarah ::
9:37 PM ::
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Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Random Tuesday...
So freedom of speech and intimidation....often a very fine line.
Um, why did they mutilate Cameo's Word Up for a chevy commercial...while its not as painful as Al Green's Let's Stay Together for a laundry soap commercial...still completely unnecssary...
Have we as people so badly run out of ideas the need to consistently reinvent the wheel? There is a G I Joe movie coming out next year....and I am not saying anything disparaging against G I Joe. I just find it interesting that over the last several years, things that were particular trends when I was younger...and it seems like we juice some of it up, add a little more special effects, often for boys toys-add some violence, etc and BAM...we have a whole new idea? I mean I understand that it capitalizes well...just seems sad we dont have more new ideas.
Seriously, please with the weather...just stay in like a 10 degree range...
How do you become famous as a screamer...like you say what do you do for a living and they say I scream?
You know, I for the most part am NOT a reality TV person...but I did enjoy The Apprentice before they went crazy putting people in tents...now the celebrity. I guess the show used to intrigue me because it baffles me what people will do for money....
Enough is enough. People, stop dressing your dogs. There is a reason they are covered in fur. That IS thier clothes. Stop it with the puffy pink vests and little sweaters...its insanity...there are lots of people who need clothes. Buy them a vest or sweater.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
7:32 PM ::
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Saturday, March 22, 2008
Grateful Saturday...
...for the extra day with lil man...even unexpectedly
...for all his spotaneous hugs and kisses this weekend
...reading with him...its AWESOME...he is getting good
...for how much love he makes me feel...he is so amazing...being a parent is hard AND totally worth every minute...
...for our very educational conversations this week...
...his start in learning to skateboard...it was very very cute
...a full week of green days!!!!! Progress baby!!
...the little personality he is growing into...that kid is a nut seriously...lol
...for my iPod....used the heck out of it this week...
...keeping basic order in 3 rooms of the house lol
...that I didnt put my hands on that young man this week...he deserved it and I really REALLY wanted to. Please dont let me see him outta my work area.
...that my boss had my back when it went down
....my new anthony hamilton ringer...LOVE IT
....my sis. I miss you even though we havent talked much this week
...Bessie is creakin but still rollin fine...
...UB's poetry...she has been ON POINT as usual...
...literati among friends lol
...damn dominos....too much like math lolol
...Mary J and Anthony Hamilton....been jammin them hard this week...oh and newest Raheem Devaughn...like the first one best but this one is pretty good...Friday is the Jam! Got J jammin to it too... :)
...that the barber wasnt as busy as I expected today
...paperbear...that store is a baaaad baaaad place for my money to go lol
...having to keep a pad near the bed...still not a lot of llength but still good words
...that in all the rain while I was on call this week, there was no flooding!
...Ms Houston reminding me age is a matter of mindset
...great weather...
...that I made it to church last weekend...progress for me
...creators are teachin me even when I am hard-headed
...sage, sandalwood and egyptian musks...they calm me...
Posted by CousinSarah ::
1:36 PM ::
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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tuesday...so randoms....
Why do car sales and repair places offer things like "super secure brakes?" Isnt that the point of brakes in the FIRST place? Someone explain to me why I need to pay more for an operation that is IMPERATIVE to how the car runs. I mean, do I say "Well, money's tight, I will take the so so brakes option." SERIOUSLY IRRITATES ME.
Speaking of cars, I paid 60$ for a side view mirror cause one of my shattered. The guy told me that I should be able to install it really easy since it was going to cost 150 to install the mirror. I CANNOT GET THE DAMN THING OFF!! And I can tell its a simple screw on type thing but i cant get it to work. It will take them 15 minutes tops to install. So I am suppossed to pay them 10$ a MINUTE. How about NO.
Why did my son who has NO front teeth really try to prove to me today that he could still crack a sunflower seed with his front "teeth?" He is missing 3 teeth on the top...all gums. But he tried I tell ya what. lol.
He also asked me what gay means today. So I explained it. I thought he understood. I gave him the basics. Then he said "So does that mean Im gay with dad?" Man, it was so funny I struggled not to laugh...but that one was hard--I did my best but it was FUUU NNNEEE. So we talked more about relationships and what they look like so he would understand better. He did.
Man, now that he can read so well-all the questions about sex, race etc are starting. He also asked me about Malcolm X as I have a poster of him in my office. Today was quite educational for us. All this questions, its amazing to watch him growing into this little person. The questions are getting REAL. Its awesome and scary at the same time. I have to remind myself baby steps. They have really got him comparing Abe Lincoln and MLK as very similar people...specifically in the presentation that they both fought for black people. And while I want to be like son, let me break it down about Abe, I know he isnt quite ready for that. SO, we will be starting to find more books at his level that give me lead ins to these kinds of talks.
Why in shows where they show simulations while they tell a story...dop they find it necessary to show pictures of the real person and then OBVIOUSLY replace them with better looking people in the simulations? It really adds to the whole body image issues.
The weather. For real. I LOVE a good thunderstorm. If it is gonna be all stormy and stuff please give me more than 2 cracks of thunder...all Im askin.
It is seriously amazing to me how people can train dogs to find scents. I mean I understand it is part of thier make up or whatever, it just seems SO amazing.
Do I want to clean my oven top with a product that can also unclog a sink? Um no. I dont think I do thanks.
How the HELL do you justify giving a pardon to a rapist? Seriously. Rape and Murder...NO, you dont get a pardon--of any kind. Murder that was self defense to a degree, I can talk about. But no....no f*&^%$g pardons for you!!!
How many dinosaur books will my son want, get and read before we are ready for a new topic? Spiders too. lol. PLAAAA EEAAAZE!!!!!!!!!
Posted by CousinSarah ::
8:05 PM ::
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Friday, March 14, 2008
Grateful and Random...
...that lil man is having fun in ATL
...prayers that he was no where near the tornado or that it will keep them from getting home
...that I see him in two days....Man I miss that kid
...THAT I FOUND MY LONG LOST POETRY NOTEBOOK THAT I JUST KNEW I HAD LEFT AT NEO ONE NIGHT....I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MONTHS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...lessons, painful and not....they force growth which is always necessary
...weather nice enough I have left my door open several days this week (not quite ready for the 80's yet tho)
...I am extra into my iPod right now...I love it...although its kinda like a pipe for a music addict...lol--damn itunes---I just had to get the big one.
...my new purple ring....its beautiful
...lots of new writing coming out--even if its in short chunks
...hangin out with Ted today....its been a while homie
...possibilities of new prospects--never know...(Angel is going to holler at me when I mention the GRE here so I wont :) ) and possible opportunity to move up and live off.
...intending to attend a new church Sun (too bad I forgot about the time change and missed the service)
...being able to go this Sunday...no excuses....
...girl time---nothing really like it
...House...I love that show
...Saving Grace Theme Song...my new anthem..(and the show but I said that last list :) )
...new Brother Ali tunes for CHEAP--if you havent heard "Uncle Sam Goddamn" you reaaaaallly should
...possible program with HipHop Project and Cipher here in ATX....man I want to make this vision a reality
...seeing some good movies this week
...my new magnetic poetry...helps get things movin sometimes...
...for a week of doing nothing....I needed it..
...that I have started walking--just gotta keep it up
...teasing my oldest nephew, seeing the resemblance in my mini me, and the adorable pics of my lil'est nephew---he is like--perfect cute...no seriously like...picture perfect...I will post soon with pics of each of them
...dad teasin me...its how I know he loooooves me
...sis thinkin of comin down...i know that is SERIOUS dude...lol
...MARC MARCEL IS COMING IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is on my iPod--ALOT.
...text messages that make me have to do a double take...you is naaaaaaasty lolol
...working on my frustration with the creators-remembering there is growth in that
ok..a few randoms
1-We live in Texas. Texas has LOTS of land. We produce produce. Why the hell is it IMPOSSIBLE for me to find a good tomato?? Yes I love them, I slice them and eat the like apples. Toasted tomato sandwiches--LOVE them. In the summertime, dad used to make corn on the cob and sliced tomatos...they were my FAVORITE. And I can never find a nice red, unsmushed, not grainy tomato. In all the time I have been here I have yet to find a tomato that has made the good mark. Some have come close...not many...I just want access to some good tomatos people.
2-I saw Sen Daschel on the Jon Stewart Show say that he is a super delegate. He also basically said that they (superdelegates) will have to vote for the candidate with the largest number of delegates and popular vote. I bet he got in so much troooooooouuuble!!! If he didnt, he will if that doesnt hold true and with the state of fair voting methods in the last several years....Im not holding my breath.
3-Why are people willing to have/cause an accident in order to get over 3 lanes at the last minute to get off an exit...ESP when you can see the next exit not too far from there. Stop endangering peoples lives jackasses....if you pass your exit, get off on the next one. No Dale Earnharts here in jeeps or lil Hundais (sp?) Seriously.
4-I love LOVE LOVE logic puzzles...and yet I am horrible at them. A reoccurring theme in my life.
5-Lewis Black is my favorite comedian right now. He has a new show on comedy central. Its ok, pretty funny but doesnt higlight his standup the way I had hoped. If you have never seen his stand up, and you like political humor....check him out!!
6-I hate to cook. Thats not random, just a bit of truth.
7-I hate having to drive even more (esp in traffic or long distances). Just another tidbit.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
11:23 PM ::
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Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Grateful Weds
....every moment I spend with lil man
...for his blue days last week
...that he thinks of me when I am not around...brings me kisses lol
...for my lil'est nephew's "Aunt Say Say, I just so miss you." miss you too lil one
...for my mini me...telling me all the snow means snowmen and snowball fights...wish I was there lil one
...for my oldest nephew and the juicy kisses jokes...its worth the giggles everytime
...progress...painful but forward
...singing at the top of my lungs in the car...more like yelling but it was great stress relief
...Saving Grace...newly hooked....speaks to me in lotsa ways
...when you speak to me....even if I dont always listen
...making it to level 7 on the vortex
...making it to 87K on text twist
...paperbear....love that store
...lunch with Ted, its been a while homie
...unexpectedly seein Amphf....still need to eat man...lol
...writing more...it isnt all in one peice but it is finally coming out instead of staying stuffed
...for fun at neo last Thursday
...for girlfriend moments--real ones the good and bad
...the moments I sleep hard..i need em
...Badu in just a few days
...a successful program tonight
...Spring Break just around the corner
...the students who touch my life...thank you guys
...my work fam...you make it easier everyday...
...prayers for J's save arrival to and from Atlanta next week...thank you in advance. :)
...steps toward the creators
Posted by CousinSarah ::
7:02 PM ::
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Monday, March 03, 2008
Some days....
I have limited patience...today is one of those days. So, here is "random" more reflective of this mindset. :)
I know people need money. I know. And, why are people so willing to do anything to get it?
1-Why the hell is Mayweather fighting some huge as man as part of RAW? For Real.
2-This moment of truth show is out of control--saw some snipets and commentary from last weeks. Seriously, it does disturb me the continual incline we seem to be climbing...our being "entertianed" or hell, being the "entertainer" for that matter in these shows where really, we enjoy watching people crash and burn. Symptomatic of how less and less compassionate we are becoming.
3-The devil or whatever evil entity you believe in is in control of the weather. Has to be. This is nuts.
4-I REAAAALLLLY want to understand why in a techno savvy society, we still have the kind of redunant paperwork we have. Like, if I have sto sign papers and they are turned in...why would I need to reprint them off again a month later for a report? Im just saying.
5-I'm really frustrated hearing people justify why thier religious beliefs are the "right ones" and therefore, the world is going to shit because "that" religion doesnt legislate processes or doesnt get to be presented as such. If people could be as spiritual as they are religious, I honestly wonder how different that would look. Follow your faith--allow others to follow thiers. Basic rules of humanity are in most all faith paths. I dont have anything against belief systems, its people's need to force it or blame the lack of it for ALL our moral downfalls. We as a society have become increasingly materialistic and THAT in my opinion has been the force that continues to deteroriate us morally. Anything for the money right?
6-Whew, I really needed to get that one out.
7-If your life is so painful or boring that you constantly need to worry outside of your own...my advice is work on you or get one of your own.
Ok, now for some less agitated randoms... :)
What is missing in AMPS that I can drink those but all other energy drinks have that lasting bittersweet aftertaste for me? That's wierd right?
I sooooo totally wish I had a chef lolol...or someone to help me cook would be ok too.....I sooo suck and I am finally getting sick of cereal. lol
House is one of my new very favorite shows....I need people to get to writing.
:)
Posted by CousinSarah ::
6:35 PM ::
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