Tuesday, April 18, 2006
5 minutes with Cousin
If money didn't matter what would you do with your life? Like 13 said, I would be a full time grad student. There is so much I want to study....so many classes to take. I would study at Amhurst, Berkley, U of I to be near my mentor and study under him more. I absolutely loooove to learn.
What's the biggest misconception about you? My bravado sometimes is a protection, sometimes I use it to come across bigger than I am. My personality is naturally a big one when I am comfortable. When I am uncomfortable, I am much more of an introvert. Few people who dont know me well expect me to have introvert tendancies.
Beauty or brains? Brains. I have to be able to look at you, but a good personality, good sense of humor and someone who can stimulate my mind gets cuter with each conversation.
What is your weapon of choice? My morning breath when my nose is stuffed up and I had to breath through my mouth. :) It can melt a face off...or my kids morning breath....it is pretty vicious as well.
Who was your first celebrity crush? hmmmm, I always have a hard time remembering these....Jack Wagner from General Hospital, Prince in Jr High, Michael...you know the poster where he is in white and yellow. UM HMMM. Oh and Rick Springfield.
What's your family's nickname for you? My family doesnt have a nicknames for me really. My aunt called me squirt when I was a kid. My honey calls me Baby Kitten. My friend calls me sunshine...well two of them do or have. My poet family calls me Cousin. :)
What is your most embarrassing guilty pleasure? Good Zane books. :)
What's the last book you've read? Wicked. I am almost done shelle less than 60 pages! It is a very very well written book. For those who love a good story, he is an amazing story teller.
Name one thing that scares you? Totally screwing up my kid.
What's the biggest mistake you've made? Moving in with an ex. and taking out more loans than I really needed for school.
Who would you cast to play you in a movie about you? Michelle Pfiffer. Did I spell that right?
If you ran for President of the United States, who would be your running mate? Barak Obama baby.
Who is your favorite TV mom? Rosanne. :)
What's the fastest way to pick a fight with you? Mess with, hurt or talk about someone I love.
If you could tell one person to shut up, who would it be? George Bush, Condie Rice, Al Sharpton, Bill O'Reilly, Larry Elders, Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern---oh did that question say one person?
Who would you die for? My son, man, sister and her whole family, parents, and a few of friends who I wont put on blast--you know who you are.
Name one celebrity whom you would never procreate under any circumstances? Just about any "rapper" from the south and Bush.
It would be an honor if some said my writing/poetry reminded them of_____________. Mark Twain or Zora Neele Hurston
Name one sex act you would never perform if you were the opposite sex? um that could be a nice size list--that goes for whichever sex I am. Being a little kinky is fine...being gross is a NO NO NO. (ex--no one is peeing on me unless I have been stung by a jellyfish and even then, it would be that the pain made me want to die enough to get peed on.)
Would you ever pose for Playgirl/Playboy? UM let me think. No, No and uh no.
When was the last time you cried? Yesterday
What's the greatest personal tragedy you've ever experienced? The number of times I played russian roulette with my life.
Complete this sentence: By this time next year______________. I will be published." Ditto 13, ditto.
If I usually tag ya, you are tagged now. :)
Posted by CousinSarah ::
5:59 PM ::
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Monday, April 17, 2006
Im back....
Landed safely...back at the J O B. Here is a lil something that I started while I was gone...it isnt done, but I am working on it.
Time had come again
she'd written past checks
her ass cant cash
but payment is due.
She reaches into empty pockes
time warps her back
to times she'd fallen off track
forged her way
often poorly
through unmarked and dangerous roads
The familiar hollow
Of reaching deep to feeling nothing
sends her reeling back
to lost days
the ways she'd survived
the russian roulette she played with her life
Silent wishes that in a last moment
she might finally feel alive
Strive to believe that she'd
finally transend, fly
into skies away
from the cries
that echoed in the soul
she'd leave behind.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
2:07 PM ::
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006
HIP HOP TAG
MY FAVORITE KIND! Thanks Slump cause I am seriously giddy right now!
Top 10 hip hop albums (in no particular order)
Me Against the World-Pac
(Closely followed by Strictly...MATW was more mature, but Strickly was some seriously political afronts at a time when some of that was subsiding in hip hop.)
The Low End Theory-Tribe Called Quest (Although the Anthology gave me most of everything!)
Paid in Full Eric B and Rakim
Refutation of Time and Space-Diggable Planets
It takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back-Public Enemy--goes without explanation.
Criminal Minded by Boogie Down cause I LOOOOOOOVE The Bridge is Over. South Bronx too. I know Any Means Necessary is tight, but I love the Bridge is Over tooooo much.
BlackStar-Blackstar (these brothers have so much potential that they dont continue to live up to)
Black On Both Sides-While Mos has hurt me deeply lately, that album addresses so many issues. I love it.
Mecca and the Soul Brother-Pete Rock and CL Smooth
Illmatic-Nas
Eyes on This-MC Lyte
Chronic-Dr Dre
So many others but I will leave it at those 11 or I will never stop.
top 5 artists
1-Pac (No one can ever say anything to make me think he is not #1)
2-Biggie
3-MC Lyte
4-KRS One
5-Jay Z (as much as it pains me to say that--I am not happy about his conversion to hip pop crap in the last several years)
Others that are tight but not top 5
Slick Rick--thats right, his raps were simple, but he had his own flava
Lady Of Rage-That sista had so much pontential
Jean Grae-LOVIN HER
Nas--his lack of consistency keeps him outta the top 5 for me. His hot shit is FIYAH, but some of this other stuff was painful (see the FIRM for details)
Big Daddy Kane
Common-Again his lack of consistency keeps him outta the top 5 but I owned SEVERAL tapes--thats right-TAPES of Can I Borrow A Dollar cause I wore them out! His last album gave me hope that a change might be comin.
Eminem-I know people are gonna be mad. Just hold on-his content I hated until this last album, in fact never listened to him until this last one. As a lyrisist he truly is immensely talented.
Snoop-Again, consistency killed him, ground breaking and then...notta.
Method Man-enough said
Damn my computer froze and now I have to retype the following.
Top 5 groups
1-Tribe-No questions
2-Public Enemy
3-Diggable Planets (that is right I said it--they remain a favorite)
4-Eric B and Rakim (Not sure to put them as a group, so I did)
5-Boogie Down Productions
Others that need mention but not in top 5
Run DMC-historical Respect
Wu Tang-I liked a lot of thier stuff but they werent in my favorites, I felt more of the individuals than I did the whole group
Doug E Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew-greatly influenced the game
Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five-groundbreaking for thier time. Hip Hop has evolved so much that sometimes we lose sight that the basics were still hot for thier time and purpose
The Roots
Pete Rock and CL Smooth-that brotha had passion and soul
Heavy D and the Boys (that's right, they changed the game up some, had thier own style)
Blackstar-love them
Salt and Pepa-helped keep women on the map
Ok I am going to stop or I never will. I tag Shelle (although I think Slump tagged her-Angel too), Unsaid, Brandy, Jai, Relentless, Mo Browne, Copa, Queue and 13.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
5:25 PM ::
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Monday, April 10, 2006
Slogans for Friends
There is a Slogan Generator and this is what I found when I put y'all's name in....
It Needn't Be Hell With Funky Mike
Beanz Meanz Jai.
Hope It's Brandy, It's Brandy, We Hope It's Brandy...
Ribbed For Her Shelle.
I am Stuck on Kim, 'Cause Kim's Stuck on Me
Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Queue from the Oven.
We Don't Make Copasetic. We Make Copasetic Better.
Step Into The Angel.
The Unsaid Breakfast.
Make Room for the Jo.
With A Name Like Gretchen, It Has To Be Good.
Designed for Slump Facade.
The Best Relentless A Man Can Get.
They're Yummy For Your Mo Browne.
www.thesurrelaist.co.uk
Posted by CousinSarah ::
4:57 PM ::
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Eyes reflected the multiplicities
in his life's pain
like a mirror's shattered remnents
staring back at him a thousand times
finding he was too blinded
to see past them,
forced to repeat them,
cause there is safety,
certainty in repitition,
easy to see what's coming
despite it's unpleasancies
his complacentcy has overcome
a willingness to change
to remain tied to things
that brings him scars
maintains his tough skin
allowing no one within
the folds of his heart
no one he could hold at fault
for breaking it again,
or even for the first time
he learned lessons ago,
people cannot be trusted,
comfort in lack of change
a best friend,
the outcomes always end
the same
yet never once
acknowledges
he has become his own
worst enemy,
promising guarantees of dissapointment
annointing himself in distance,
resistance of living,
running from himself faster,
realizing he has become
both slave
and
master.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
12:58 PM ::
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Sunday, April 09, 2006
Arrived safely...
I have arrived safely to Tampa. Man I love this area. (All my Austin loves relax, I am talking geographically right now.) It is just a pretty place.
This morning was AWESOME. My niece and nephew climbed into bed with me and we talked and told stories and giggled....lots of giggling. It was very sweet. Then I got my littlest nephew who is just a few months over one and put him in the bed too. Great way to wake up this morning, even if it was obscenly early. Definitley blessed I have a kid who likes to sleep in in the mornings.
Today is Sunday. Grey's Anatomy--WHOOO HOOO. Gonna try to get my sis and bro to watch Boondocks. Should be interesting. It's on at 11 here so they might just go to bed. LOL. My sis makes me watch stuff I never would, so gotta return the favor when I can.
Two days till my interview. Little nervous, but I already have the first one down as practice. I have a phone interview Weds. So, got a great week ahead of me. Have a GREAT Sunday everybody!!
Dang it, my sis just told me Grey's is a repeat. BLASTED! Welll....its still a damn good Sunday.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
5:21 AM ::
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Arrived safely...
I have arrived safely to Tampa. Man I love this area. (All my Austin loves relax, I am talking geographically right now.) It is just a pretty place.
This morning was AWESOME. My niece and nephew climbed into bed with me and we talked and told stories and giggled....lots of giggling. It was very sweet. Then I got my littlest nephew who is just a few months over one and put him in the bed too. Great way to wake up this morning, even if it was obscenly early. Definitley blessed I have a kid who likes to sleep in in the mornings.
Today is Sunday. Grey's Anatomy--WHOOO HOOO. Gonna try to get my sis and bro to watch Boondocks. Should be interesting. It's on at 11 here so they might just go to bed. LOL. My sis makes me watch stuff I never would, so gotta return the favor when I can.
Two days till my interview. Little nervous, but I already have the first one down as practice. I have a phone interview Weds. So, got a great week ahead of me. Have a GREAT Sunday everybody!!
Dang it, my sis just told me Grey's is a repeat. BLASTED! Welll....its still a damn good Sunday.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
5:21 AM ::
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Friday, April 07, 2006
One down....
So they keep on coming....I had my first interview today with a school here in Austin. Went great. Loved the people, felt really good calm and comfy during the interviews--EXCEPT, I am still sick. And on the several time I have sounded like a 70 year old man with emphazema, I prayed and kept water close by that I would not burst into a hacking cough that made them run for the door. Excpet for a few little ones I was good...but by the time I got to the last interview. I sounded like Barry reincarnated.
I get to go to Tampa tomorrow and see my sis, my brother and my babies. I cannot wait to smother them. It seems like they grow leaps and bounds each time I leave. I have another interview on Tuesday with a school in Tampa. I have a phone interview while I am there with another school in Austin. And my boss told me tonight that Emory called for reference checks. Good sign. Finally, I feel like it is time for me to move on which I desperatly need. I have been loyal (if not occassionally disgruntled) at an institution that still needs a great deal of growth. So I finally feel like there is hope. I am not sure where, but I have been applying for jobs for two years. This is the first year of applying with the Master's totally done and I think that has made all the difference.
On the down side, I missed the National Colligate Poetry Slam that I was on the committee for and it broke my heart deeply. I wanted to be part of that experience, watch the youth spit and support my kiddos. In exchange, I had an opportunity to interview. So, in all aside from either a cold or allergies that is kickin my butt, this crazy hectic weekend is forming out quite well!
I hate flying, so pray for me tomorrow. Very glad my doc finally gave me tranquilzers, now maybe I wont have to literally fight the urge to snatch the stewardess by the shirt at the first sign of unexplained turbulance. :)
Posted by CousinSarah ::
8:51 PM ::
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Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Unsaid, look what you started...
I must have a high level of insanity cause readint other people's lists made me think of a few more that I will share. All in the spirit of frindship and self exploration.
7. When people get hurt, once I know they are ok, and sometimes when I dont, I bust out laughing--hard. It is so horrible, but I think it is the way I deal with the stress. It makes Richard so mad. But I cannot help it. One time, Brandy and I were at Walmart at like midnight. I fell of the curb badly twisting my ankle. Brandy was talking to me at the time, and she turned and didnt see me. She started yelling where are you. I am laying in the street laughing hysterically as the wrapping paper and other things in my bag fall out. Brandy is trying to help me up because I am LAYING IN THE STREET. And I cannot stop laughing. So brandy also starts laughing and I am so lucky that she is strong cause she basically pulled me up. I thought I had broke my ankle and could not stop laughing. While she is laughing, whe is like stop laughing are you Ok. I laugh through a "no I think I broke my ankle" She retorts "but that's not funny" still giggling. Horrible. But I do, and I feel bad about it but cannot stop it. The only person that doesnt happen with is my kid. That never produces a laugh unless he slides on his butt and he isnt actually hurt.
8-When I get sick I crave COCA COLA. Bad. Like insanely. For some reason, it makes me feel better. Wierd.
9-I still often sleep with a stuffed rabbit that I have had for 20 years. Damn that makes me feel old. But I do. I need to get a body pillow so I can stop, it is QUITE embarrassing but true. When I am cuddled with Richard, it goes to the opposite side. If our butts are touching instead, I sleep with it. In addition, I sleep best when I have a fist full of cover tucked under my neck. I absolutely CANNOT sleep without a blanket, and often, unless I am dying of heat, a sheet is to light. I need a blanket with some wieght on it.
10-I check my locks at night about 50 times. I think it is a combo of paranoia and short memory issues. Unless Rich is home, then I check it less.
11-I need it black and silent to fall asleep. Once I am asleep it isnt as bad, unless it is windows without curtians, college kids screaming or big snoring. My mom used to call me a vampire.
12-One of the most emabarrasing, as a kid, I used to eat silly putty. Dont know why but it made this popping sound and I liked it. Bizarre I know, but I was kid. At least I dont eat it now.
I wonder what kind of masochistic tendancies I have that make this so interesting to me to think about and then reveal. LOL.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
12:12 PM ::
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Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Nyquil haze...
I stayed home today to get some well needed rest. I still am sleepy, even though I pretty much laid in bed all day. I still sound like Barry White, and not in the sexy way. :)
As I am getting ready to leave, it amazes me how I still miss my kid before I ever leave. Now that I am doing better about not running away from my life and instead being present and living it, it has only increased. Rich too, sometimes, I miss him even though we have been just at work that day. It is so wonderful to have that back. With my kid, as a mom you constantly worry you are gonna jack the kid up. So, I know he is gonna be sad while I am gone. And that makes me miss him. Today, he let me hold him like I did when he was a baby. If I have taught him one thing, he loves to shower me and daddy in kisses. I love it.
This post is really a cold med induced rambling. LOL.
The other side of this is that I cannot WAIT to see my sister. I just saw her in November but it seems like forever. I get to smother my other babies in kisses and tickles. Cant wait. When I see the mini movies of the youngest I cannot believe he is sooo big already. I have such torn feelings about my poetry family here and the possibility I might leave. Much sadness about it. On the other side, the possibility my son and my niece and nephews could go to school together, that J would have a closer relationship with some part of our extended family is so awesome to think about. Specifically, because the grandparents are in ATL and STL. So we see them but only a few times a year at best. The idea that I will get to sit giggling with my sister, Saturday nights on the patio, Rich and Chris (my brother in law) doin man talk and developing a better relationship. Both situations have joy and sadness. Both exciting possibilities.
I have not heard a follow up from Emory so I am thinking I didnt maybe do as well as I hoped. So ATL near a grandma is looking less likely. Either that or they are moving very slow in thier selection process which is unlikely cause everyone is trying to get interviews done and in.
Just trying to live in the right now and not what if myself to death. I have been so much better about that lately and I believe that is part of why things are running more smoothly cause I am not overanalyzing or feeling anxious about all the what if's. What is suppossed to happen will. Just so much exciting and changing things coming up, just tryin to stay smoooooth. LOL.
Posted by CousinSarah ::
5:40 PM ::
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Monday, April 03, 2006
A little catchin up...
I am sick. The kinda sick where "I want my mom" sick. I cannot breath, my head hurts, I have coughed so much that my back hurts. I have interveiws and a packed out week this week. So why today to be sick. Dunno. But I am not gonna freak about it. Gonna rest and do my best. (aww look at that, i really am a poet. :) )
Had a really hard student issue Friday night. Made me have to deal with some of my own baggage. Sometimes it is the hardest part of this job, but also what makes me good at it.
Got to coach my kid's team Sat. My dad is a coach and has been for years and I always wondered how he ended up with favorites and such. He says he doesnt have them but he sure does. Now I know, there is a little girl on the team that I want to take home with me. SHE IS SO CUTE. And when she saw me walkin toward the field, she ran up and hugged me. That was the best part of my Saturday.
She had gotten teary the practice before cause she didnt think she was doing very good and no one passed it to her. Now this is obviously her first time playing, she is the smallest kid on the team, and she tries so hard to be good. And she is getting better, but not at a rate she is satisfied with. So I have taken her under my wing a bit and I just adore her. She is my FAVORITE. She is cute as a button and just a really sweet kid. I mean so so so so so cute.
My second favorite thing Saturday was the poetry in the street. I was tired and not feeling fabulous cause I had been up withj the student issue from 4-7 am and had just gone to bed after 12. And when I saw where we were, I was NOT a happy camper. But once we started flowing, I love my poets, and allowed myself to be absorbed in them. (Herm and Joe B. Sorry about the shower--but Joe B. YOU MADE ME LAUGH right after I took a sip!) I enjoyed it. I got home, chilled, ironed my man's clothes so he could sleep a few minutes more in the morning since he works weekends now.
On Sunday, I went full blast on my presentation for my Florida interview. Thanks to one of my bestest buddies in the world, Ted helped me to make it SPECTACULAR. So, I feel much more confident about the interview now. Now, I just have to get thru Friday's at UT first. :)
A co-worker sent me a very cool website. She found this website this morning – it’s a way to tell if you have a hidden bias through word sorts. You can do a quiz for age, sexuality, ability, Native American, weight, skin-tone and a bunch of other diversity-related issues.
To get to the quizzes, click on “Demonstration”.
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/
I found this awesome and I only did a few of them. I thought I would share with my like minded friends. Enjoy!!!!!
Posted by CousinSarah ::
7:42 PM ::
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